Nelson Coulter

  • UnreasonableHospitality

    I recently read Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect by Will Guidara (2022).

    WG is a high-end restauranteur in New York City. He and his team have garnered acclaim both in the U.S. and internationally.

     My top takeaways:

    • We can think of service as “black and white,” but hospitality is what adds the “color.”
    • Genuine hospitality means making others feel valued, seen, a part, welcome.
    • Providing hospitality can also be a selfish pleasure.
    • There is tremendous nobility in making the choice to serve others.
    • Hospitality can be expressed in almost any vocational or professional field.
    • The enthusiasm of one person can be the genesis of extraordinary things.
    • Let our energy impact those to whom we are speaking, rather than the other way around.
    • “Cult” is short for “Culture.” An interesting assertion.
    • Culture is caught, not taught.
    • Learning a system from the ground up has tremendous value.
    • The 95/5 Rule: Spend 95% of your business resources scrupulously, the other 5% foolishly.
    • We all — especially leaders — need someone who in our inner circle who feels comfortable telling us when we aren’t acting as the best version of ourself.
    • Find and leverage the strengths of each team member, no matter how deeply buried those strengths may be.
    • Keep emotion out of criticism.
    • Every hire sends a message.
    • Hire slow, fire fast (judiciously).
    • Being intentional is important; articulating it to the team is more so.
    • “It might not work” is a terrible reason not to try.
    • Excellence is the culmination of thousands of details executed perfectly.
    • Channeling Walt Disney: “People can feel perfection.”
    • Management key: How we choose to praise + How we choose to criticize = Level of success.
    • There is a difference in being attentive and paying attention.
    • The opposite of a good idea can, and should be, a good idea.
    • Better things happen when we can replace “transactional” with “transformational.”
    • Seeking to replace monologue with dialogue almost always yields better results.

    My favorite quotes:

    “Fads fade and cycle, but the human desire to be taken care of never goes away.” (p. 5)

    “Some of the best advice I ever got about starting in a new organization is: Don’t cannonball. Ease into the pool. I’ve passed this advice on to those joining my own: no matter how talented you are, or how much you have to add, give yourself time to understand the organization before you try to impact it.” (p. 64)

    “You’re not always going to agree with everything you hear, but you’ve got to start by listening.” (p. 64)

    “The day you stop reading your criticism is the day you grow complacent, and irrelevance won’t be far behind.” (p. 90)

    “You must be able to name for yourself why your work matters.” (p. 99)

    “The first time someone comes to you with an idea, listen closely, because how you handle it will dictate how they choose to contribute in the future.” (p. 116)

    “One of my dad’s quotes I love the most is: ‘The secret to happiness is always having something to look forward to.’” (p. 145)

    “It isn’t the lavishness of the gift that counts, but its pricelessness.” (p. 209)

    “Creativity is an active process, not a passive one.” (p. 224)

    “Start with what you want to achieve, instead of limiting yourself to what’s realistic or sustainable.” (p. 238)

    This book reaffirmed much of what I already knew and believed, and framed some of it in new and interesting ways. It was well worth the time I spend with it.

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • EnergyManagement

    The best leaders I know are superb at managing energy (their own and that of the organization).

    Here are some of the daily disciplines they leverage:

    • Relentless focus on the Vision and clarity of direction
    • Continual thinking, dialogue, and action toward improvement
    • Mitigation of confusion and chaos
    • Attention to relationships (internal and external)
    • Team centered data analysis, reflection, and adaptation
    • Constant communication, transparency, and full disclosure
    These impactful leaders approach the work holistically, rather than in reductionist fashion.
     
    Yes, it’s a LOT. 
     
    But….. We really don’t have enough energy or time to waste otherwise.
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • Artful_Inquirers

    The best leaders I know, in both personal life and professional, are masterful inquirers. At almost every encounter with members of the team, they find a way to ask questions that keep us focused both on the direction we’re heading and the way we are spending our precious resources (both tangible and intangible) in pursuit of that direction.

    Here are some examples of the questions that Artful Inquirers put before us regularly:

    How clear are we about the direction we are heading?

    In what ways are we spending our time, effort, resources well in this pursuit?

    What expenditures of our time/effort/resources seem not to be moving us toward our vision?

    How clear are we, both as teams and as individuals, about the roles we are being asked to play?

    How might we be clearer about the vision we have chosen, and why we have chosen it?

    These types of questions, and variations on them, serve to cause deep reflection and tightening of alignments. Both are good things.

    By the way, these are not posed as hypothetical questions. Thinking and dialogue are required responses.

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • GoodRight

    Doing good is harder than not.

    Adopting good habits is more difficult than the opposite.

    Choosing service over self-interest is an extremely onerous commitment.

    Creating ecologically sustainable systems is tougher than consumptive practice.

    Insisting on fairness and respectfulness is more challenging than deferring to privilege.

    If doing good is such a tough slog, why would we go to the trouble?

    Because doing Good is the Right thing to do.

    (We are not alone in the journey. Now is an excellent time to push the process.)

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • DisasterFoilers

    We make thousands of decisions each day. The higher up the leadership ladder we reside, the number of decisions grows.

    Well-crafted policy and ethical judgment are key to making sound and consequential decisions. Those are foundational to efficacious day-to-day operations.

    Crises, however, have a nasty way of shouldering themselves into our workdays. Rarely do those issues rise to the the level of true emergencies; but, sometimes they do.

    Two variables that almost always result in either poor or less-than-optimal decisions are Fear and Urgency. When we are making decisions grounded in either of those we are at great risk of making mistakes.

    The best antidote to that “Fear-Urgency disease” is to practice diligently, as a team, the craft of forecasting and anticipating. When the “surprises” don’t really surprise us, we are in much better position to make sound and beneficial decisions. Disaster(s) foiled!

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • With-It-Ness

    The best leaders I know are With-It kind of people. And not only in the usual sense that they’re up to speed and paying attention.

    With-It leaders understand that important work is never done alone. Thus, they continually express an inclusive message of team effort, collaborative endeavor, collective action………..WITH-IT-ness.

    Some important messages those With-It leaders send:

    • “We” are always smarter than “I”
    • Team effort is a force multiplier
    • Each of us has a gift/talent to contribute, and is expected to do so
    • All voices should be heard
    • There are no bench-sitters, everyone is in the game
    • Information is shared freely (there are no secrets)
    • Connecting, collaborating, communicating WITH each other is a requirement
    Winning is the result of WITH-IT kinds of teams. And leaders.
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • Non-Solvers

    Every team seems to have at least one member intent upon being the Non-Solver, the one who identifies problems then sits back to let others try to figure out how to come up with solutions.

    Some pretty smart leaders I know don’t let folks get away with such slackerishness.

    Here are some of the strategies astute leaders use with the Non-Solver types:

    • These wise leaders don’t let the Non-Solvers operate in secrecy. They force them to offer their complaints, issues, criticisms out in the open. They don’t get to “hide” from their observations/judgements. They’re forced to “own” them.
    • They press the Non-Solvers to present possible solutions to the problems identified. This is usually done in the form of inquiry. Some questions oft used: What have you tried? How well did that work? What did you learn from that effort that will inform our next moves?
    • They prescribe action steps for the Non-Solvers, with deadlines for completion and/or reporting of outcomes.
    Continuous Improvement is a powerful element of a healthy organizational culture.
    Continuous Complaint is not.
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • ManipuFluence

    Causing others to think and act is a fundamental responsibility of leadership.

    Some choose to engage in those causative acts through manipulation, others through influence.

    Consider this continuum (with sum corollary descriptors):

    Manipulation <<<<< —– >>>>> Influence

    Reductionist <<<<< —————— >>>>> Holistic

    Fixed Mindset <<<<< —– >>>>> Growth Mindset

    Secretive <<<<< ————- >>>>> Full Disclosure

    Exclusive <<<<< ——————— >>>>> Inclusive

    Egotism <<<<< —————– >>>>> Stewardship

    The motive of the agent is at play along every level. As is the anticipated number of “winners” and “losers.”

    You can probably guess when end of that continuum I prefer.

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • ServantStewardship

    Much has been written about the concept of Servant Leadership. Whole books. Many whole books, in fact.

    Some of the most emulatable Servant Leaders I know demonstrate some very powerful common attributes:

    • We Language – Their language is always inclusive and invitational. They rarely speak in terms of “I” or “They,” and almost always pepper conversations with “We” and “Our.”
    • Seek Deeper Understanding – They seem perpetually in search of deeper understanding……of people, of contexts, of data, of conditions. That seeking is relentlessly grounded in the use of Good Questions + Powerful Listening.
    • Relational – Those impactful leaders strive mightily to build bridges, not walls. They understand that Relationships are the fuel upon which positive outcomes run. They attend to those relationships with great care.
    Service and Stewardship are both powerful conceptual models. Imagine the impact of leaders who combine giving with caretaking.
    Time to practice….
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • BetterBitter

    Some folks I know work intentionally, daily, relentlessly to get BETTER. Almost everyone I know that fits that description does so through a disciplined, continual LEARNING journey. They seem dedicated to making themselves better, in the interest of making our world better.

    I know a few folks who seem equally dedicated to being BITTER. You likely know them, too, so I won’t go into details of what that looks/feels/sounds like.

    I’ve noticed that BETTER attracts BETTER. Likewise, BITTER seems to attract BITTER.

    Today, I think I’ll choose BETTER. (Come on in, the water’s fine………BETTER, actually.)

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.