When humans gather………there’s friction. When humans work together ……… there’s friction. When humans compete ……… there’s friction. When humans attempt great things ……… there’s friction.
The friction is triggered by:
- Who or who does not get the drumstick from the plate of fried chicken.
- Who or who does not get to shower first each evening.
- Who or who does not get the prime property in the inheritance.
- Who or who does not get named deacon.
- Who or who does not get the job promotion.
- Who or who does not get to make the final decision.
- Who or who does not get front-row seating.
The friction exists at the family, church, school, city, county, state, national, and international levels. Almost always, friction results over concerns related to status, privilege, or resources.
The wisest leaders I know somehow “manage” the inevitable friction. How?
- They invite all to the table and honor the various perspectives.
- They exhibit respectful behavior, persistently.
- They LISTEN — carefully, fully, relationally.
- They guide us in crafting a clear vision of betterness, then communicate it relentlessly.
- They clarify roles so that everyone knows how they can contribute meaningfully.
- They press for the WE achievements, and resist creating winner-loser structures.
- They honor how we “feel” but pull our attention and discussion always back to the data that describes our desired outcomes.
- They help us understand when the friction impedes our progress.
Honorable leadership practice is a tough slog. Probably the reason leaders of that ilk are so hard to find.
*If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.
