Category: Thought Leaders

  • Friction

    When humans gather………there’s friction. When humans work together ……… there’s friction. When humans compete ……… there’s friction. When humans attempt great things ……… there’s friction.

    The friction is triggered by:

    • Who or who does not get the drumstick from the plate of fried chicken.
    • Who or who does not get to shower first each evening.
    • Who or who does not get the prime property in the inheritance.
    • Who or who does not get named deacon.
    • Who or who does not get the job promotion.
    • Who or who does not get to make the final decision.
    • Who or who does not get front-row seating.
    The friction exists at the family, church, school, city, county, state, national, and international levels. Almost always, friction results over concerns related to status, privilege, or resources.
    The wisest leaders I know somehow “manage” the inevitable friction. How?
    • They invite all to the table and honor the various perspectives.
    • They exhibit respectful behavior, persistently.
    • They LISTEN — carefully, fully, relationally.
    • They guide us in crafting a clear vision of betterness, then communicate it relentlessly.
    • They clarify roles so that everyone knows how they can contribute meaningfully.
    • They press for the WE achievements, and resist creating winner-loser structures.
    • They honor how we “feel” but pull our attention and discussion always back to the data that describes our desired outcomes.
    • They help us understand when the friction impedes our progress.
    Honorable leadership practice is a tough slog. Probably the reason leaders of that ilk are so hard to find.
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • TeacHer(o)

    Most of us have had Teachers who shaped us. The most impactful ones understand that we DON’T need them for……. the content or to rank/sort us. 

    Those stellar Teachers know that we DO need them for…

    • Relationship 
    • Insight (that comes from their experience) 
    • Encouragement 
    • Direction/Redirection

    Not all of mine were professionally “certified” Teachers. Some were …
    Parents and Grandparents
        Bosses 
            Colleagues 
                My Students
                    Friends

    Still, each was or is a TeacherHero in their own right. They have taught me much, and still are.

    Gotta run. Time to pay it back/forward…

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • Engage(d)

    I admire immensely folks who are skillful at engaging with others. They have the ability to, somehow, make us feel at ease in their presence. 

    These engagement artisans have numerous “tools” they leverage to make the rest of us feel heard, seen, valued, and respected. Here are some of the things these engagemeisters do:

    • They ask penetrating questions which invite us to reveal our knowledge, feelings, and positions.
    • They display transparency and vulnerability in their own words and demeanor.
    • They LISTEN intently as we share our thoughts.
    • The exude kindness.
    • They offer praise and thanks freely.
    • They are fully present during the interaction.
    • They seek, always, to build bridges instead of walls.
    Just imagine a day in which we might encounter nothing other than these kinds of folks. (Or maybe just a few of them.)
     
    How rewarding might our own days be if we could learn to behave in this way?
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • InfluencerJam

    The wisest leaders I know understand that it takes a TEAM to accomplish significant impact. Thus, those leaders are always on the hunt for, and committed to the development of, influencers.

    How do they do that?

    1. Find and connect with ’em – Pay attention to the “landscape,” looking for those who not only do good work, but seem to draw it out of others. Get to know them. Talk to them. Listen to them. Learn with and from them. Lean into them. Connect dots with both their personal and professional interests.
    2. Build their capacity – Provide opportunities and access that align with their gifts and talent. Connect them with others in our network. Create mechanisms by which we learn with and from them.
    3. Shape their work – Consistently keep the organizational Vision at the center of our/their attention. Pull and push our Team toward that Vision. De-emphasize or remove elements that impede those efforts. Implement systems that challenge, not threaten, those influencers.
    4. Praise and promote them – Notice, acknowledge, praise, promote, and yes, sometimes “lose” them to their ambitions beyond our organization. Influence is reciprocal in nature.

    Influencers can work with or for pretty much anyone of their choosing. So, why would they pick us to work with?

    The “jam” of influential leaders is heavily weighted toward influencing the influencers.

    “The road goes on forever, and the party never ends…”

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, to to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • Two-Juice

    Most organizational leaders have way too much to do. Too much paperwork, too much homework, too much putting out of fires, too much cleaning up of messes, too many meetings, too much “stuff.”

    Often neglected are the powerful one-to-one engagements with folks on the team. One-to-one equals TWO.

    In my early years as an organizational leader, my lovely bride (now of 47 years) would gently remind me of the following: “Take care of the people, and they’ll help you take care of the stuff.”

    Wise words then; wise words now.

    There are huge benefits to spending a little one-to-one time with team players. In each of those Divine Appointments we can:

    • Underscore their value
    • Express appreciation
    • LISTEN
    • Laugh
    • Empathize
    • Clarify vision
    • Demonstrate care

    Those brief two-way conversations provide positive energy to both parties. And both need it.

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • RecalcitranceRemediation

    Resistors, slow-rollers, blockers all have well-earned reputations. They often bring organizational improvement to a standstill. But not always…

    All organizations have the Cadre of the Recalcitrant. So, how best do we navigate their resistance?

    Consider these strategies:

    • Seek counsel from wise others outside our organization. Perhaps we’re missing something that is giving the resistors reason to push back or credence in the eyes of others.
    • Keep communications open, even if painful. Transparency must prevail to keep various factions from digging more deeply in.
    • Do our homework. In each meeting and in each individual encounter we are wise to be armed with the best and most current relevant data, and to be prepared to share our highest aspirations for the team in clear and understandable terms. High ground is almost always the best ground.
    • Keep our communications clean, clear, forthright, and “on the business.” It is never productive for us to attack the character or personality of others.
    • Stay focused on the good and the positive. Negativity is a strong attractor, but what it attracts mostly is more negativity. People appreciate a genuinely positive perspective and optimistic voice, even if it’s a lonely one.
    • Be the change we desire. Integrity is when our words and our actions are highly aligned. Folks appreciate (often admire) it, even if they’re afraid to say so.
    Breaking through bottlenecks and barriers is a tough slog. 
     
    Let’s make sure we’re pursuing worthy and noble goals, then engage the challenge presented by the Cadre of the Recalcitrant with vigor and zeal.
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • TrustBusters

    The best leaders I know work double-time to foster trust. They understand that magic occurs when there is a high level of trust among and between members of the organization. Those impactful leaders strive to be exemplars of behaviors that foster trust.

    Here are some well-documented Trust Busters:

    • One-sided communications
    • Absence of transparency
    • Lack of integrity
    • Hubris
    • Abuse of power
    • Outright dishonesty
    • Exclusive, rather than inclusive, practices
    How can we foster trust? A good start would be to scratch those seven elements off of our to-do list.
     
    Trust lost is almost impossible to regain. Gaining and holding trust requires intentional and persistent work.
     
    We can start right now…
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • MEchanic

    The craft and process of betterment seeking is intensely personal. It starts with LEARNING and results in MEchanicing (aka fixing) the things in ourselves we think might “run” a little better.

    When we’re tinkering on ourselves, we LEARN through multiple channels:

    • By observing those we admire and attempting to copy their ways of thinking and behaving.
    • By paying attention to anti-examples — those we do not particularly admire — and working to eradicate those kinds of thinking/behavior out of our own.
    • By studying intensely — via written word, podcasts, videos, personal conversations — the strategies and habits we believe will move us toward becoming the best version of ourselves.
    When we’re truly committed to getting better, every day, on purpose, we really don’t have the time to “fix” others.
    Being a MEchanic is pretty much a full-time job.
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning. 

  • ExcellenceMissed

    Of course it is!

    We fall short of Excellence for two primary reasons:

    1) We weren’t striving for Excellence in the first place. It’s much safer to aim low, stay off the radar, caste blame, not care, give up.

    2) We were striving for Excellence, which is a bold, worthy, and illusive undertaking. We may have missed by an inch or even a mile, but at least we were pushing our limits toward betterness. Even those who occasionally do achieve Excellence have an extremely difficult time sustaining it.

    Pursuit of Excellence is not for sissies. It is, however, for those who want to be better, to do better, to leave the world a better place than we found it.
     
    Let’s roll!
    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.

  • UnreasonableHospitality

    I recently read Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect by Will Guidara (2022).

    WG is a high-end restauranteur in New York City. He and his team have garnered acclaim both in the U.S. and internationally.

     My top takeaways:

    • We can think of service as “black and white,” but hospitality is what adds the “color.”
    • Genuine hospitality means making others feel valued, seen, a part, welcome.
    • Providing hospitality can also be a selfish pleasure.
    • There is tremendous nobility in making the choice to serve others.
    • Hospitality can be expressed in almost any vocational or professional field.
    • The enthusiasm of one person can be the genesis of extraordinary things.
    • Let our energy impact those to whom we are speaking, rather than the other way around.
    • “Cult” is short for “Culture.” An interesting assertion.
    • Culture is caught, not taught.
    • Learning a system from the ground up has tremendous value.
    • The 95/5 Rule: Spend 95% of your business resources scrupulously, the other 5% foolishly.
    • We all — especially leaders — need someone who in our inner circle who feels comfortable telling us when we aren’t acting as the best version of ourself.
    • Find and leverage the strengths of each team member, no matter how deeply buried those strengths may be.
    • Keep emotion out of criticism.
    • Every hire sends a message.
    • Hire slow, fire fast (judiciously).
    • Being intentional is important; articulating it to the team is more so.
    • “It might not work” is a terrible reason not to try.
    • Excellence is the culmination of thousands of details executed perfectly.
    • Channeling Walt Disney: “People can feel perfection.”
    • Management key: How we choose to praise + How we choose to criticize = Level of success.
    • There is a difference in being attentive and paying attention.
    • The opposite of a good idea can, and should be, a good idea.
    • Better things happen when we can replace “transactional” with “transformational.”
    • Seeking to replace monologue with dialogue almost always yields better results.

    My favorite quotes:

    “Fads fade and cycle, but the human desire to be taken care of never goes away.” (p. 5)

    “Some of the best advice I ever got about starting in a new organization is: Don’t cannonball. Ease into the pool. I’ve passed this advice on to those joining my own: no matter how talented you are, or how much you have to add, give yourself time to understand the organization before you try to impact it.” (p. 64)

    “You’re not always going to agree with everything you hear, but you’ve got to start by listening.” (p. 64)

    “The day you stop reading your criticism is the day you grow complacent, and irrelevance won’t be far behind.” (p. 90)

    “You must be able to name for yourself why your work matters.” (p. 99)

    “The first time someone comes to you with an idea, listen closely, because how you handle it will dictate how they choose to contribute in the future.” (p. 116)

    “One of my dad’s quotes I love the most is: ‘The secret to happiness is always having something to look forward to.’” (p. 145)

    “It isn’t the lavishness of the gift that counts, but its pricelessness.” (p. 209)

    “Creativity is an active process, not a passive one.” (p. 224)

    “Start with what you want to achieve, instead of limiting yourself to what’s realistic or sustainable.” (p. 238)

    This book reaffirmed much of what I already knew and believed, and framed some of it in new and interesting ways. It was well worth the time I spend with it.

    *If you’d like to read more of nc’s blatherings, go to nc’s Recursive Learning.